What's the funniest thing you heard in a movie theater?

I noticed heads bobbing and turning to look at the cold-hearted 16-year-old girl who didn’t cry. I lowered myself in the seat and tried to squeeze out a tear, but I couldn’t manage it.

My sister, a cousin, and I went to see “Love Story” in 1971 at a theater in Minneapolis. The movie starred Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal.

That did it for me. I spat up my Coke and had to leave to clean up in the restroom.

Why are white women not interested in dating Asian men? Are they not attractive to you at all?

My cousin didn’t want to go, but he had a car and could drive us to the theater.

The acting just wasn’t believable. Ali’s swearing seemed so rehearsed, and Ryan played the poor little rich boy who played hockey.

Ali’s character called him "Preppy," if I remember right. He attended Harvard and she went to Radcliffe College.

What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?

Someone in the audience (who wasn’t paying attention) asked where the movie took place. Being born in the Midwest, my cousin jokingly shouted, “Iowa!”

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Yeah, right!

I was surprised that I wasn’t able to shed a tear. I am an emotional sort of person, but that movie just didn’t do it for me.

Why would my husband cheat on me with an ugly fat woman?

Finally, the music quieted down, and there was a 10-second lull. The only sounds I heard were people sniffing and sobbing around me. My sister was crying as well.

She glanced over at my dry eyes and loudly asked, “Why aren’t you crying?” I looked at her in surprise wondering why I wasn’t crying.

As the movie progressed, Ali’s character was diagnosed with cancer. It was sad; I understand that. But everyone in the packed theater— and I mean everyone—seemed to be crying. I was the only person sitting there like a rock, staring straight ahead.

What happened to the American Russell Bentley from Texas that was fighting for the pro-Russian commies?

Too many people heard her. Some guys behind us snickered at my sister’s remark.

I almost giggled when the thunderous background music crashed down over some dramatic scene. The music was way too loud.